Officer Soltes: These domestic situations, it's not uncommon to get cold feet.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Are you asking me to file charges? Just give me the paperwork. If Greg House steps foot in my hospital again, comes anywhere near me, I want him thrown in jail.
Dr. Remy Hadley: I'm surprised he approved it. I'm more surprised you actually asked.
Dr. Gregory House: I do things like that now. I'm making some changes… like skipping ahead to minute 37.
Dr. Robert Chase: I'm not gonna watch a woman get set on fire.
Dr. Gregory House: Philistine.
Dr. Eric Foreman: You forgot about the fourth symptom — being completely crazy.
Dr. Remy Hadley: One man's crazy is another woman's art. Her work explores things like gender politics and self-image.
Dr. Gregory House: And the pressing issue of shaving your entire body in public while wearing a monkey mask.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I still vote for nuts. We should run a resting-state functional MRI to look for increased activity in the dorsal nexus.
Dr. Gregory House: She's not nuts.
Dr. Robert Chase: The monkey-mask-shaving medium really speaks to you?
Dr. Gregory House: What speaks to me is she's elevated being full of crap to a genuine art form and made a fortune doing it. People that pay 20 grand for one of her video stills, on the other hand, really do need their dorsal nexi checked.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Oh, thank God. The ICU isn't being attacked by giant radioactive spiders.
Dr. Gregory House: Did I text you that? That was meant for my dream journal.
Dr. Gregory House: I wanted to return your stuff. Don't worry. I didn't go AWOL. I had my wife-maid bring it over.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: My sweater, a coffee mug, a half-used bottle of lotion, and a DVD of “Marley & Me.”
Dr. Gregory House: Given your thing for Owen Wilson, I thought you might want those last two back asap.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I don't get it.
Dr. Gregory House: You masturbate to Owen Wilson.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh. It's a symbolic gesture. I want things to go back to the way they were before we started dating — no more bad feelings, no more issues, just work. Thanks for coming.
Dr. Gregory House: I think I could avoid putting another hole in my leg without talking about my mother.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, I don't want to find out you're wrong by getting another phone call from you in a bloody bathtub.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm a big believer that the best way to get past the past is to shoot it in the head, bury it in a deep pit, and pour lye on it.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm just asking you to talk about it. You owe me... Forget about saving your life. You exposed my daughter to that obnoxious pirate cartoon.
Dr. Gregory House: Bring me lunch tomorrow, and we can plumb my depths.
Luca: Afsoun believes explaining her work limits its potential. But between us, he was real and a total dick.
Dr. Eric Foreman: No sane person would let themselves be burned alive for the sake of art.
Afsoun Hamidi: My work is meant to force the audience to break with the rational and see things in a new way.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Fine. No sane person would let themselves be burned alive to "break with the rational."
Dr. Chris Taub: Congratulations. It's a gestational sac. Can't see anything this early.
Julia: Jerry is cute. He's a senior V.P. He kite-surfs in Costa Rica every winter, and he loves his mother.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Seasonally? Or is that just the kite-surfing?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: What? Like I secretly wish I could alter the laws of the universe, change who we are, and magically make it work out?
Julia: Yes, that's exactly what I'm asking.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: My sarcasm indicated no.
Julia: No, your sarcasm indicated you wanted to avoid actually saying anything.
Dr. Gregory House: The reason Luca couldn't decide what to do in the treatment room is the same as in the gallery. He's been told not to intervene. Congratulations. We've become her latest work of art.
Dr. Remy Hadley: It shouldn't have surprised us. All her work is based on personal traumas. She's had Luca taking notes, videotape her treatments, collect things, like sharps and bandages. It'll all go into a gallery installation.
Dr. Chris Taub: Well, then I guess as long as long as the exploitation is properly motivated, it's all okay.
Dr. Chris Taub: Why are we even discussing this case? She lied to us. It's opening us up to malpractice.
Dr. Gregory House: Our practice opens us up to malpractice.
Dr. Eric Foreman: How do we know she's actually sick?
Dr. Gregory House: Her being sick is a clue.
Dr. Remy Hadley: She would have let him set her on fire because of the honesty of her work. Faking an illness doesn't fit.
Dr. Gregory House: Thirteen's right — at least her conclusion was. Everything else was laughably wrong. If the patient induced pancreatitis and a heart attack, she'd be suicidal.
Dr. Robert Chase: Exactly. She's risking her life all the time.
Dr. Gregory House: Exactly. If she wanted to be dead, she'd be dead a long time ago. Pretending to cheat death pays better than watercolors.
Dr. Gregory House: If you really cared about me, you wouldn't be so obvious when you scheme to prove me wrong. You volunteered because you want to C.T. her lungs, not her biliary tree. You want to find fibrosis and prove your "paint thinner" theory. If I don't come with, when you fail, you'll pretend you never tried. I don't really have a choice, now, do I?
Dr. Gregory House: Since I've seen your paycheck, I probably shouldn't. Canned beans aren't so bad... as long as they're cooked over an oil-drum fire under a bridge with the king of the hobos.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You stood me up.
Dr. Gregory House: Sorry. Should have scheduled my patient's internal bleeding for Thursday.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm expressing my anger. You should try it. Right now, let's finally have our fight.
Dr. Gregory House: All we do is fight.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No, all you've done is pull pranks or have temper tantrums with Wilson, never me, marry mail-order prostitutes, make me go to your wedding—
Dr. Gregory House: Wow, I hadn't realized the incredible healing power of lunch.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I know one conversation isn't gonna solve everything, but it is a start.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's a privacy curtain.
Dr. Eric Foreman: It wasn't working.
Dr. Gregory House: She was researching me?
Dr. Eric Foreman: For months. This isn't about creating art in the moment. It's about you. She set you up.
Dr. James Wilson: Knowing him, he'll be in a bar. He'll find one that matches how he feels inside. It'll be the most dark, depressing hole you can find in New Jersey.
Dr. Gregory House: What the hell was the point of this? What personal trauma are you exploiting. I’m... sorry — mining for its artistic potential?
Afsoun Hamidi: My illness. I did the blood doping to intrigue you, but I was already ill.
Luca: Wait. You're really sick?
Dr. Gregory House: Why me?
Luca: Do you know what you have?
Afsoun Hamidi: Yes.
Luca: So tell him.
Afsoun Hamidi: If I do, there won't be any game for him, and then there won't be any art for us.
Dr. Gregory House: You know, there's a lot of games I could play that don't involve dealing with narcissistic, manipulative poseurs.
Afsoun Hamidi: But this is a puzzle tailor-made for you. You don't know which of my symptoms are real, which are fake, which ones I'm not even telling you about. I know that intrigues you. Do you really want to end it now?
Dr. Gregory House: [quietly] No.
Dr. Eric Foreman: This is the new House — half the leg power, twice the irresponsibility?
Dr. Gregory House: The new House is about making my life healthier. Never said anything about yours. Go get her blood.
Dr. Remy Hadley: I'll do it. He's going through a tough patch right now. If this is the distraction he needs to keep him in his hospital bed, I'm sure it's better than any of the alternatives.
Dr. Gregory House: That was incredibly condescending. Did it work?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Why do you keep ducking your wife's calls? I'm sure she just wants to congratulate you about knocking up a 22-year-old nurse.
Afsoun Hamidi: How many projects have we done together? You're always so worried. Have you ever gone wrong trusting me?
Dr. Gregory House: There is another explanation. The reason she didn't react isn't 'cause she wants to die. It's 'cause she knows she can't do anything about it. Whatever she has is fatal. That should narrow it down.
Dr. Gregory House: See that tumor-ish thingamajig near her "brainamabob"?
Luca: Oh, God.
Dr. Gregory House: Are you getting this? Game's over. I won. Primary CNS lymphoma with associated paraneoplastic syndrome.
Afsoun Hamidi: We were having a fling. It wouldn't have been fair to involve you.
Luca: I'm involved now. You just didn't want to open up.
Afsoun Hamidi: Luca, my mind was not clear then.
Dr. Gregory House: ...You realized you could use your death to make your magnum opus. Maybe you wanted to show that no one can cheat death, even an entire team of doctors with unlimited resources. Or maybe your first doctors didn't treat you like a person — just a series of symptoms. You wanted to re-create that depersonalization. And I was the man to see.
Afsoun Hamidi: If that was what I thought, I don't any longer. You spent time with me. You took this personally.
Dr. Gregory House: No, I didn't. And I don't actually think your piece is about anything. I think you just figured out that you're mortal. You're just a bag of cells and waste with an expiration date. You wanted to act out. You wanted people to notice. Maybe you even prayed for a different answer this time. I got a title for your piece — "It Doesn't Mean Anything."
Dr. James Wilson: You're forging my name on prescriptions again.
Dr. Gregory House: No... What you just said implies that I stopped at some point.
Dr. Gregory House: You've chosen this moment to give me crap about my Vicodin use?
Dr. James Wilson: You filled this three days ago. Now it's almost half gone.
Dr. Gregory House: So is my leg.
Dr. Gregory House: Okay. So maybe I am trying to numb myself a little, because I'm trying to change, trying to stop being self-destructive.
Dr. James Wilson: So you can only handle not self-destructing by being self-destructive?
Dr. Gregory House: What do you want from me?
Dr. James Wilson: I don't know how many times I can watch you cut off pieces of yourself. Now it's the ICU, next time it'll be the morgue. You're miserable. And you're angry. And I want you to actually deal with that and not just try to medicate the issue away.
Dr. Gregory House: No. You know what I feel right now? I don't feel miserable or angry. I don't feel good or bad. I feel... nothing... which feels great.
Afsoun Hamidi: Radiation? On my brain? But it made me fuzzy last time. It was harder to work. I am still slowed down from it.
Dr. Gregory House: And it'll get worse. But, you know, dying can also do a number on your ability to think.
Afsoun Hamidi: This is my brain, my work, and my life...
Luca: You have more. This is not some great performance piece anymore. This is just crazy.
Luca: I can't watch you die... not when you can save yourself. Good-bye, Afsoun.
Dr. Gregory House: You think I have unresolved issues, and you are the unresolved issues.
Dr. Gregory House: I did it to fix my life. No, wait. No, I did it because I'm a deeply unhappy person. No–no, I did it to get sympathy from you. I did it to piss you off. I did it because I'm not over you. Or I was over you, and I was moving on. I did it because I wanted to know what it's like not to be in pain. I did it because I want to feel more pain. Whatever the reason, it was a bad reason and a bad idea. That's all that matters. Good lunch.
Afsoun Hamidi: Did I make the wrong choice? Five years, through every opening, every installation, every day and every night, he was there the whole time.
Dr. Remy Hadley: Except the first time you were diagnosed. You broke up with him, and you had to go through all of that alone. Maybe that's the real reason you're doing this piece — so that this time you can have him with you. You still could.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: No. On a scale from one to creepy, you were maybe mildly unnerving.
Dr. Gregory House: Sorry. Just checking the stitches on my penis.
Dr. Gregory House: You made a decision.
Afsoun Hamidi: I changed my mind.
Dr. Gregory House: Why?
Afsoun Hamidi: Because there are more important things than—
Dr. Gregory House: Than what — than your brain, your abilities? It's where everything comes from — any meaning in your life, any happiness.
Afsoun Hamidi: Not all happiness—
Dr. Gregory House: He's already left once. He's gonna leave you again. You don't need to depend on people who are gonna let you down. If you do this, you're a pathetic hypocrite. You're saying that your whole life, all your work up until him was a pointless—
Afsoun Hamidi: Why are you doing this?
Dr. Gregory House: You're right. I feel much better.
Bartender: You want another one?
Dr. Gregory House: No, I think I've had enough. What do you think I should do today?
Bartender: I don't know. Go home?
Dr. Gregory House: Not tonight. Cheers.
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