The Poem that Made Us Cry Again

While searching quotes for Riley's christening, we came across this poem... It pretty much summed up everything we felt. It's been a while but we never thought we'd still cry after all this time...

God Gave Us A Tiny Rosebud
For our Angela Marie

God gave us a tiny Rosebud,
It was the fragile kind.
She never opened her petals,
They were so delicate and fine.

God didn't want us to keep her,
To care for and to love,
So He tenderly took her away,
Up to heaven above.

Long silence... hidden fears realized... and forging ahead...

It's been a while... Been scared most of this time... So scared of the what ifs and what may have beens....

My wife Che is pregnant again. Just a few months after the loss of our Angel, we're there again. Though I'm very happy that we're blessed again, at the back of my mind, I can't shake that same fear we had faced just a few months before.

Guess our fears are understandable... And for a while, we've been coping well... Several check ups with the OB and everything's clear so far. We thought this time would be better. Smooth sailing from here on.

Still, couldn't find the strength nor the will to post about it... Not sure why, but I think my fears got the better of me. Plus the fact that we've been legitimately busy, with her birthday last week and all... Guess that trauma is still with me... Posted the first scans of Angel a few months back. That was one of the happiest moments of our lives. Only to last a few months, happiness replaced with extreme sorrow... Yep, guess that sums up why I can't post about it...

Then fear struck again....

Che was bleeding. She was scared as hell. What's worse is that I'm in the office; she's all alone facing that ordeal. Thankfully our good friends are onhand and helped her along; took her to the hospital and everything.

Thankfully, the baby is okay. Our OB explained this as a "threatened miscarriage", quite common during the first trimester. After an overnight stay, we checked out of the hospital.

A couple more weeks before the first trimester is over and everything becomes peachy again. Just need to get over this few weeks. That means minimal physical exertion. No stress. No nothing. Nothing bad for the next few weeks. Coping well so far.

As I'm the designated "houseband" for the next few weeks, I've become fully domesticated. :)) Hehehe... Doing laundry, cooking, washing dishes, grocery, cleaning. You name it. Not a new thing for me, mind you. Ever since we settled here, I did my share of household work. Of course this time, it's gonna be 100% on me. I welcome the challenge.

I think I'm actually doing good; the fact that I have time to write this post since I've finished my work for the day kinda proves that. Not bad. Guess all that time management training in the office is finally paying off. :))

Oh well, better plan the lunch and dinner for tomorrow and the next few days. I will be at work starting this Thursday, so I need to plan and cook food for her such that she only needs to reheat the food. Don't want her to rely on food deliveries; not that healthy and definitely more expensive. The pork ribs afritada I cooked for dinner earlier was a surprise hit. I wasn't expecting too much from it; didn't follow the cooking instructions and made a lot of improvisions. Anyway, glad that Che liked it... so did I! :)

Anyway... Guess I've moved on. Or at least in the process of moving on... Writing something after a long time of silence. That's a big step for me. Now motivated by the renewed desire to share experiences, good and bad.

Should heed my own advice. I always tell Che when she's down that there's always good side to anything. That it's up to us whether we look at the bad side or the good side of the story. In this case, better to share fears and experiences. Might help some people some day. Maybe.. Maybe not. Whatever...

Uhh... I'm babbling again.... Well not babbling, babbling, since I'm actually typing... Anyway, I lost my train of thought. Guess I shifted to my nothing box a few sentences ago. Hehehe :))

Oh well, thanks for reading.. :)

Getting back on the groove...

It's been a while since I last posted something on this or any of my blogs. Ever since, well... after the whole ordeal we had with Angel. Read more on Che's post here.

This has been a most difficult thing for me to write about. She's supposed to be our first baby... and out first big loss...

Don't want to dwell too much on this. We're just moving on.

Going past the first trimester...

As the old adage goes, time flies fast when you're having fun. Still can't believe we're already on our second trimester. Three months have gone by and the baby is doing well. Che's belly is starting to bulge a bit. Starting to feel a little push here and there. Wow!

Of course, that means I have to do more and more of the work at home. Not that I mind. In fact I'm kind of enjoying it. Doing laundry early morning so that I can hang them out to dry before noon... Doing grocery... Vacuuming the place... Mopping the floors... Taking out the trash... and others... Being a "houseband", is not as bad as I originally thought.

This also means that I don't have time to do the other things I usually do. I don't play with Fallout 3 anymore, nor do I blog so much as well... As you can apparently tell from the lack of posts for weeks. I haven't even been able to play around with our SLR that much. But that's all okay...

I guess the thought of the baby is more than enough to keep our happy disposition in place. :) Despite the challenges at work, I feel more relaxed and carefree than I was months before.

Can't wait till the next check-up. I want to see how baby is doing in there. :)

I, Expecting Dad

Yep... In case you haven't seen my or my wife's Facebook profile yet, I'm now an expecting dad...

We were completely taken by surprise. So surprised that Che used up two pregnancy tests just to make sure. :) It's been a long time but finally we've been blessed! Of course, there were the usual jitters and agitations. Everything's surreal... But overall, we're excited and can't wait to see him or her...

Anyway, we had our first checkup last Tuesday. Here's what our baby looks like for now.



According to them (I have no idea how they come with it, so don't ask!), the baby is about six weeks old. We're scheduled for another checkup in two weeks time which, hopefully, the ultrasound will reveal much more...

I'm not really sure, but I'm guessing the next two weeks will just quickly pass by...