It's been a while... Been scared most of this time... So scared of the what ifs and what may have beens....
My wife Che is pregnant again. Just a few months after the loss of our Angel, we're there again. Though I'm very happy that we're blessed again, at the back of my mind, I can't shake that same fear we had faced just a few months before.
Guess our fears are understandable... And for a while, we've been coping well... Several check ups with the OB and everything's clear so far. We thought this time would be better. Smooth sailing from here on.
Still, couldn't find the strength nor the will to post about it... Not sure why, but I think my fears got the better of me. Plus the fact that we've been legitimately busy, with her birthday last week and all... Guess that trauma is still with me... Posted the first scans of Angel a few months back. That was one of the happiest moments of our lives. Only to last a few months, happiness replaced with extreme sorrow... Yep, guess that sums up why I can't post about it...
Then fear struck again....
Che was bleeding. She was scared as hell. What's worse is that I'm in the office; she's all alone facing that ordeal. Thankfully our good friends are onhand and helped her along; took her to the hospital and everything.
Thankfully, the baby is okay. Our OB explained this as a "threatened miscarriage", quite common during the first trimester. After an overnight stay, we checked out of the hospital.
A couple more weeks before the first trimester is over and everything becomes peachy again. Just need to get over this few weeks. That means minimal physical exertion. No stress. No nothing. Nothing bad for the next few weeks. Coping well so far.
As I'm the designated "houseband" for the next few weeks, I've become fully domesticated. :)) Hehehe... Doing laundry, cooking, washing dishes, grocery, cleaning. You name it. Not a new thing for me, mind you. Ever since we settled here, I did my share of household work. Of course this time, it's gonna be 100% on me. I welcome the challenge.
I think I'm actually doing good; the fact that I have time to write this post since I've finished my work for the day kinda proves that. Not bad. Guess all that time management training in the office is finally paying off. :))
Oh well, better plan the lunch and dinner for tomorrow and the next few days. I will be at work starting this Thursday, so I need to plan and cook food for her such that she only needs to reheat the food. Don't want her to rely on food deliveries; not that healthy and definitely more expensive. The pork ribs afritada I cooked for dinner earlier was a surprise hit. I wasn't expecting too much from it; didn't follow the cooking instructions and made a lot of improvisions. Anyway, glad that Che liked it... so did I! :)
Anyway... Guess I've moved on. Or at least in the process of moving on... Writing something after a long time of silence. That's a big step for me. Now motivated by the renewed desire to share experiences, good and bad.
Should heed my own advice. I always tell Che when she's down that there's always good side to anything. That it's up to us whether we look at the bad side or the good side of the story. In this case, better to share fears and experiences. Might help some people some day. Maybe.. Maybe not. Whatever...
Uhh... I'm babbling again.... Well not babbling, babbling, since I'm actually typing... Anyway, I lost my train of thought. Guess I shifted to my nothing box a few sentences ago. Hehehe :))
Oh well, thanks for reading.. :)
i've always believed that whenever He gives us 'difficult times' it's not to test us nor punish us. He just wants us to all the more cling on to Him and know who to depend on no matter what.
ReplyDeletetwas a nice post :) i'm glad you're both 'healing' now :)
God bless always!! you're always in my prayers. :)