Dr. House: Information saves lives. Saving lives saves money.
Dr. Cuddy: No. Saving lives costs money, which is why I'm trying to make sure there's still some left.
Dr Kutner: In college, my friends and I came up with an inverse square law.
Dr. Taub: Looks like a real fun group.
Dr Kutner: The girls who you think are the most inhibited, straight-arrows, they're the ones you hook up with.
Dr. Taub: Are you saying my wife is a slut?
Dr Kutner: I'm saying if my wife was a slut, I'd want to know.
Dr. House: You're not allowed to be not terrified. There's only two good reasons not to be terrified in a hospital. You're delusional but you're not afraid of contrast material either. Or you know you're fine. Since we haven't told you you were fine. You obviously have information that we don't have.
Dr. House: Hottie, thinks that he's a great artist, selling art to the rich and tasteful, but is stupid enough to be fooled by the canvases. Bank accounts don't lie. He needed money. How many jobs you can do that don't require time, training, and intelligence. And I know you're not a newsanchor or supermodel, coz those jobs seldom cause agnosia. He's a guinea pig. Company's pay him to test their untested drugs.
Dr. House: Couldn't even if I cared enough to want to.
Dr. House: Just to shortcircuit that discussion, people should not be testing drugs because they're desperate. But, people won't test drugs unless they're desperate. We need drugs to save children and puppies. Ergo, we need desperate people. Ergo, welfare kills sick children.
Dr. Taub: What purpose could that possibly serve?
Dr. House: None. That's why I'm not saying that you should. But you will! (Sarcastic smile.)
Dr. House: Miserable people save more lives. If your life has meaning, your job doesn't have to have meaning. Screwup's more palatable if you have someone's arms to go crying.
Dr. Taub: If you open your mouth, one of two things happens. She either forgives you or she leaves you. At best, you wind up exactly where you are right now. It's noble to want to confess. Really, it is. But if the result's just damage and pain, that's not noble, that's selfish.
Lucas: I'm in to you, coz you're HOT. And smart. In that order, but both are needed. Photos can be retouched. And House IS an evil genius, which makes this photo suspicious. And yet you're not suspicious. Which means either you're not smart enough to be suspicious in which case I am less interested in you; or you're not suspicious because you know this is actually a doctored photo of House in which case I am more interested in you. But I am wasting my time because you know this is a game we are playing on you and I am busted and I'm screwed.
Dr. Taub: Are you glad he told you the truth?
Heather: Yes, of course.
Dr. Taub: But... Were you happier before you knew?
Dr. House: You know people hate people who have theories about people.
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