Dr. House: Our new patient. Part girl. Part boy. All Thirteen's dream date.
Dr. House: Way to multi-task! Impress your boss and humiliate your ex.
Dr. House: Completely unfazed? You think I'm totally lacking in any fazing? The idea that I'm anything less than half-fazed... I actually find offensive. It greatly fazes me...
Dr. Wilson: He's in a good mood.
Dr. Cuddy: Sex with me would explain that. But it doesn't explain why I'm not curled up in a ball, weeping in shame.
Dr. House: I think my penis stopped breathing. Do you know CPR?
Dr. House: I'm fine. Other than the fact that my nurple is now purple. [To Dr. Hadley.] No wonder you broke up with him. I'm surprised yours are still attached.
Dr. Hadley: Monogamy is like saying you're never gonna have any other ice cream flavor besides rocky road.
Dr. Foreman: So you're saying: if you don't have pink bubblegum for a while, that one day you'll gonna chase down the ice cream truck?
Dr. Hadley: No. Rocky road is great. It's a very delicious and complicated flavor. I also know that if I have other flavors, then rocky road is gonna be left in the freezer where anyone can just... Dip in.
Dr. Foreman: Kutner said the silver lining of our breakup was... I wouldn't be dumped for a girl.
Dr. House: Okay I admit it. I have bolemia. I look good, though, right?
Dr. Cuddy: You keep taking this, you could die.
Dr. House: Consider, if I keep doing this, YOU could die, then it would be your business.
Dr. Cuddy: You're choosing methadone over this job?
Dr. House: I'm choosing lack of pain over this job.
Dr. Cuddy: House doesn't do happy. Pain or no pain.
Dr. Kutner: Are you okay?
Dr. House: I have issues with authority. You?
Dr. House: Your son was fine when he got here. 'Coz of your... Freaked out overprotectiveness that nearly killed him.
Dr. House: You gave birth to a freak of nature. Doesn't mean it's a good idea to treat him like one.
Dr. House: It's already done. This is the only me you get.
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