Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm not bargaining sex for babysitting. Besides, you owe me.
Dr. Gregory House: For what?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Sex! I still don't see a female doctor in that room. It's making me very
unhappy.
Dr. Gregory House: Fine. Out of the goodness of my heart, which will make you happy, which
will make you desire me more, which will turn into more sex.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Do you want me to hire a white girl?
Dr. Gregory House: Go find a woman, and wipe that self-satisfied grin off your face.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, narrow it down to one before Cuddy starts withholding sex.
Dr. Robert Chase: House is gonna hate anyone we hire, because he doesn't want to hire... anyone.
Dr. Chris Taub: So you think I should abstain? Just give the decision back to him?
[Foreman can be seen in the background trying to contact House]
Dr. Robert Chase: Then he'll just mock you for being a wuss. You're screwed.
Dr. Gregory House: You're telling me to do the right thing while climbing out a window!
Abbey: Well, it's been getting better, actually. At least she's here in the building. That's pretty supportive for her.
Dr. Gregory House: I assume, since you're calling so early, that the surgery was a rousing
success.
Dr. Eric Foreman: And I assume, since you still think we actually did the surgery, you
haven't checked your messages in eight hours. Where are you?
Dr. Gregory House: I believe this is what your people term a "poopy call".
Dr. Eric Foreman: Uh, the word is "booty".
Dr. Gregory House: Well, I don't know what you're doing, but this is a poopy call.
Dr. Gregory House: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?! I know about the Jew, the black, and the croc-hunter, but when did we get our Asian persuasion on?
Dr. Chris Taub: Dr. Cheng... is the NICU attending on the case. And she's not here.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, then I just wasted a perfectly good racial epithet.
Dr. Chris Taub: In fairness, it wasn't completely her idea. More of a Foreman kinda thing.
Dr. Gregory House: Well, then you're an even bigger idiot for trying to cover for her.
Abbey: I just gave birth. I'm, like, one big vat of hormones right now.
Justine: It's not just the hormones, mom! You're different with her. It's okay. It's good. It's just... I can't help thinking "where was this mom when I was growing up?"
Dr. Chris Taub: The baby's bleeding again.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm shocked! Oh, no, wait a minute — that's you.
Dr. Chris Taub: Yes, you're a genius.
Dr. James Wilson: That's because I'm the tickle monster.
Dr. Gregory House: Our patient can either go through life with the world's longest umbilical cord, or we can discuss the differential for magic blood.
Abbey: I had this baby because I... wanted a chance to be a special mom. But... not this way.
Dr. Gregory House: I am not going to bargain babysitting for sex. Who the hell said that? Of course I will.
Abbey: I ate all the right foods, I read all the books and the studies, and I... even hired a private detective to research each sperm donor. I just missed one big thing. My own cancer.
Dr. Eric Foreman: You're over-thinking this. House fired my pick site-unseen. He was never even interested in Chase's pick, he was only obsessed with how she reflected on Chase. Dr. Cheng is the only candidate he's actually responded to. You wanted House invested. He is. Hire her.
Dr. Chris Taub: And you think I'm over-thinking this?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Shut up and hire her.
Justine: Oh, you don't know if I'm great. You don't know me at all. And I'm not gonna let you martyr yourself for a two-day-old infant just because you feel guilty because you weren't around for me.
Dr. Gregory House: Was obviously just a pocket of air, like I said all along. But you saw the worst case scenario... like every irrational,
worried parent. You'd make a terrible mommy.
Dr. Cheng: You're a grown man, Dr. Taub. You can make whatever choices you want, and instead of hiring me when he said you could, you chose to act like a paranoid, scared little kid... I hate kids. Good-bye, Dr. Taub.
Justine: I'll make sure you never forget her... and what she did for you. She was just trying to be the best mom in the world. She was.
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