Dr. House: Interesting. You have your whole life ahead of you. So why would Cuddy want you to die so young...
Dr. House: You exercise your new found power; I squirm under your thumb; resent the student becoming the teacher - then push comes to shove and we all realize what our real roles should be. And then you put out.
Dr. Cameron: So whyn did I took the job?
Dr. House: Oh will you two stop it already!
Dr. Hadley: Stop what?
Dr. House: Disagreeing.
Dr. Hadley: Okay. Which one of us should not have an opinion.
Dr. House: It's not an opinion, it's a smoke screen. Throw out a lame idea rather than agree with Foreman's better idea because you're worried that would confirm that he's boldly gone where no man has gone before.
Dr. Hadley: How about you just judge our ideas based on their own merit?
Dr. House: Oh you don't want me to do that!
Sarah: I just went to my happy place...
Dr. Hadley: We cannot let House anywhere near this woman.
Dr. Kutner: It's premature, reckless, and potentially lethal.
Dr. House: True. Must be somebody's job to keep me from being reckless and irresponsible. Nobody can stop me from being premature.
Dr. House: And just because I call him nobody, doesn't make me a racist.
Dr. Cameron: I'm not gonna play games. You come to me with a request that makes medical sense, I say yes.
Dr. House: ...I need oral sex... Pretty sure, biological imperative qualifies as a medical sense.
Dr. Kutner: Then why don't we just do it?
Dr. House: Because it's premature, reckless, and potentially lethal.
Dr. Kutner: Then why don't we just.. DON'T do it?
Dr. House: Because that will let Cameron know the fact that I never intended to do it.
Dr. House: Figured if I asked for something really crazy she'd shoot me down, get the 'I can control House' thing out of her perky little system so the next time I went to her with something only marginally crazy, it would seem marginally reasonable and she'd say 'yes.'
Dr. Chase: You've got a point. Except for the fact that it's a load of CRAP!... Don't be an idiot...
Dr. House: I figured a new mother brings the new baby to work 'coz she wants to listen to all the cooing... UNLESS, the new mother brings the baby to work 'coz she wants to DUMP the baby... 'Coz she HATES the baby... Think she made a BIG mistake.
Dr. Foreman: Got a second?
Dr. Cameron: Don't be an idiot. (Foreman promptly leaves.)
Dr. Foreman: That's not what this is. Everytime a decent person comes in, you set out prove that they have brain damage.
Dr. House: I never said her deranged personality was a symptom.
Dr. Foreman: You don't need to. In your five years, I can hear your thoughts from my apartment.
Slight pause...
Dr. House: Can you hear me now?
Dr. House: The brain's like the internet; packets of information constantly flowing from one area to another. Plaque in her brain from MS is like a bad server; cuts off the flow.
Dr. House: We could settle this with rock, paper, scissors. But, unfortunately, there are people who adjudicate these disputes.
Dr. House: I'm the last person you'd ever come to for ethical advice... LITERALLY... which means you've already asked every other person. No one's given you the answer you want.
Dr. House: Has she invited any of her lesbian friends into bed with you?
Dr. House: So, pros are: you might delay the onset of symptoms. Give her an extra year, maybe three. She's still dead before your forty-five. Question is, are those few years worth risking the rest of your life for medicine?
Dr. House: Unless you love her... If you love her, you do stupid things...
Dr. Wilson: Right now, she's just this weird little creature that sleeps, and poops, and cries. But that is who she's gonna be. You will be teaching her how to ride a bike, giving her advice about friends, and school, and getting her heart broken. She'll ignore most of it but some of them will stick. You're gonna be there for her through all of that. You just have to get through this part. That's all.
Dr. House: Can't give you the proof you want because it's trapped in her head, and the only way I can get at it is to cut it open and rip it out. Which is apparently the one test you won't let me run. So either I do this or I do nothing.
Dr. House: I'm skipping steps because our patient is skipping steps on her way to being dead.
Dr. House: If this doesn't work, her spleen is all yours... Unless I kill her of course.
Dr. House: My old boss. And by 'old' I don't mean 'former.
Dr. House: Our patient loves all things annoying... She's the earth mother, takes in the rejects and freaks of humanity and tells them they're A-okay. What was different?
Dr. House: You decided to keep her. Thank you for telling me. You can go now.
Dr. House: And by the way, your hips maybe an evolutionary improvement.
Dr. House: So we've evolve to find baby puke cute. 'Coz otherwise, we'd kill them all before they become functional.
Dr. House: Good news is, we can fix the heart. Bad news for the annoying kids...
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