Friday, October 22, 2010

House M. D. Quotes - Season 7 Episode 5 - Unplanned Parenthood

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm not bargaining sex for babysitting. Besides, you owe me.

Dr. Gregory House: For what?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Sex! I still don't see a female doctor in that room. It's making me very
unhappy.

Dr. Gregory House: Fine. Out of the goodness of my heart, which will make you happy, which
will make you desire me more, which will turn into more sex.



Dr. Eric Foreman: Do you want me to hire a white girl?

Dr. Gregory House: Go find a woman, and wipe that self-satisfied grin off your face.



Dr. Gregory House: Well, narrow it down to one before Cuddy starts withholding sex.



Dr. Robert Chase: House is gonna hate anyone we hire, because he doesn't want to hire... anyone.

Dr. Chris Taub: So you think I should abstain? Just give the decision back to him?
[Foreman can be seen in the background trying to contact House]

Dr. Robert Chase: Then he'll just mock you for being a wuss. You're screwed.



Dr. Gregory House: You're telling me to do the right thing while climbing out a window!



Abbey: Well, it's been getting better, actually. At least she's here in the building. That's pretty supportive for her.



Dr. Gregory House: I assume, since you're calling so early, that the surgery was a rousing
success.

Dr. Eric Foreman: And I assume, since you still think we actually did the surgery, you
haven't checked your messages in eight hours. Where are you?



Dr. Gregory House: I believe this is what your people term a "poopy call".

Dr. Eric Foreman: Uh, the word is "booty".

Dr. Gregory House: Well, I don't know what you're doing, but this is a poopy call.



Dr. Gregory House: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what?! I know about the Jew, the black, and the croc-hunter, but when did we get our Asian persuasion on?

Dr. Chris Taub: Dr. Cheng... is the NICU attending on the case. And she's not here.

Dr. Gregory House: Well, then I just wasted a perfectly good racial epithet.



Dr. Chris Taub: In fairness, it wasn't completely her idea. More of a Foreman kinda thing.

Dr. Gregory House: Well, then you're an even bigger idiot for trying to cover for her.



Abbey: I just gave birth. I'm, like, one big vat of hormones right now.

Justine: It's not just the hormones, mom! You're different with her. It's okay. It's good. It's just... I can't help thinking "where was this mom when I was growing up?"



Dr. Chris Taub: The baby's bleeding again.

Dr. Gregory House: I'm shocked! Oh, no, wait a minute — that's you.

Dr. Chris Taub: Yes, you're a genius.



Dr. James Wilson: That's because I'm the tickle monster.



Dr. Gregory House: Our patient can either go through life with the world's longest umbilical cord, or we can discuss the differential for magic blood.



Abbey: I had this baby because I... wanted a chance to be a special mom. But... not this way.



Dr. Gregory House: I am not going to bargain babysitting for sex. Who the hell said that? Of course I will.



Abbey: I ate all the right foods, I read all the books and the studies, and I... even hired a private detective to research each sperm donor. I just missed one big thing. My own cancer.



Dr. Eric Foreman: You're over-thinking this. House fired my pick site-unseen. He was never even interested in Chase's pick, he was only obsessed with how she reflected on Chase. Dr. Cheng is the only candidate he's actually responded to. You wanted House invested. He is. Hire her.

Dr. Chris Taub: And you think I'm over-thinking this?

Dr. Eric Foreman: Shut up and hire her.



Justine: Oh, you don't know if I'm great. You don't know me at all. And I'm not gonna let you martyr yourself for a two-day-old infant just because you feel guilty because you weren't around for me.



Dr. Gregory House: Was obviously just a pocket of air, like I said all along. But you saw the worst case scenario... like every irrational,
worried parent. You'd make a terrible mommy.



Dr. Cheng: You're a grown man, Dr. Taub. You can make whatever choices you want, and instead of hiring me when he said you could, you chose to act like a paranoid, scared little kid... I hate kids. Good-bye, Dr. Taub.



Justine: I'll make sure you never forget her... and what she did for you. She was just trying to be the best mom in the world. She was.


Manny Pacquiao vs Antonio Margarito - Tale of the Tape

What: Manny Pacman vs Antonio Margarito for WBC Super Welterweight Title
When: November 13, 2010
Where: Cowboys Stadium, Arlington, Texas

Continuing the tradition, here's the latest of Pacman's Tale of the Tape post:
Manny PacquiaoTale of the Tape Antonio Margarito
Pacman
Fighting Pride of the Philippines
The Mexicutioner
Pambansang Kamao (National Fist)
The Fighting Congressman
NicknameTijuana's Tornado
PhilippinesNationalityMexico
31 yrsAge32 yrs
5'6 1/2"Height5'11"
67"Reach73"
Light MiddleweightWeight ClassLight Middleweight
SouthpawStanceOrthodox
56Total Fights45
51Win38
38KO27
3Loss6
2Draw0

Notes: If Pacman wins, this will be Pacman's eighth unprecedented, record-breaking title division championship.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

House M. D. Quotes - Season 7 Episode 4 - Massage Therapy

Dr. Gregory House: I get it. You're jealous of my new cane, so you hired a new doctor that you could lean on.

Dr. Robert Chase: Exactly. Nothing to do with the fact that you instructed me to hire one.



Dr. Gregory House: Man, you're hot. I mean, seriously.



Dr. Gregory House: I know what you're thinking. She looks like Cameron, and he's hired her solely to sleep with her.



Dr. Gregory House: Well, you should have. But you'd be foolishly wrong. Yes, he's been dating at a near-Clooney pace recently, but at this point, the only hole he's trying to fill is the one in his soul, which means it's the emotional connection with Cameron that he misses. Did you ever marry a dying man? And if so, did you freeze his sperm?



Dr. Robert Chase: She was nervous. Give her a break. Oh… And she's not like Cameron.

Dr. Gregory House: True. Cameron had much smaller breasts. By which I mean she was smarter.



Dr. James Wilson: How are things going with Cuddy?

Dr. Gregory House: Great. We've gotten to fifth base. That's two home runs, and then she gives me back a triple.



Dr. Gregory House: Am I wearing a dashiki? [Wilson chuckles] Easy Rider auditions ended four
decades ago.



Dr. James Wilson: Whose idea was that?

Dr. Gregory House: Mine. But I let her think it's hers. That's the fun of a relationship.
You get the sex, the dinners… video game partnership. I also get a full-night's
sleep.



Dr. Eric Foreman: I checked the pipes and the paint. It's not lead poisoning. You got anything?

Dr. Chris Taub: Yeah, I was looking around in the corner over there. I found a question about why you have a problem with our new doctor.



Dr. Chris Taub: Dude, is this about Thirteen?

Dr. Eric Foreman: No. Why are you calling me "dude"?



Dr. Eric Foreman: One, I don't have feelings for Thirteen beyond friendship. Two, it's a temporary replacement. And three, dude?

Dr. Chris Taub: It felt right.



Dr. Gregory House: Dorothy. Dorothy. Dorothy, dear! It's Aunt Em, darling.

Margaret: What's wrong with me?

Dr. Gregory House: Well, on the one hand, you've got some mysterious heart and tummy problems. On the other, you look great for a 65-year-old. So who are you? And, no, that's not some weird Canadian pronunciation of "how."



Dr. Robert Chase: Why not just place a chair above a trap door with a shark tank underneath?

Dr. Gregory House: Wednesday is when I get my shark tank cleaned. Also because I'm giving her a chance.

Dr. Robert Chase: You're giving her a test.

Dr. Gregory House: This whole job is a test. I'm giving her the chance to fail it sooner rather than later. Or pass.



Dr. Eric Foreman: House was wrong trying to come up with a complicated reason you hired Kelly.

Dr. Robert Chase: Thank you.

Dr. Eric Foreman: It's actually quite simple. You think she's hot. You want to sleep with her.

Dr. Robert Chase: Well, it was nice to see you finally taking an interest in my life. We should go bowling sometime.

Dr. Eric Foreman: I'm just saying if you spend all your off-work time and energy getting laid, it's gonna spill into your work as well.



Dr. Gregory House: Well, it was a massage plus happy ending sort of thing. Now it's more of a sad ending. Because of you! I've tried 15
different massage therapists over the last few years. I don't know why, but she's the best I've found. She makes my leg feel better.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: So you really think that I would be okay with you getting a massage from a hooker you used to have sex with?

Dr. Gregory House: You don't mind the massage part, you mind the sex part, which doesn't exist anymore.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I know a great physical therapist. I will give you her number.

Dr. Gregory House: Why would I give up one who definitely works for one who might work?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Because I asked you to.

Dr. Gregory House: That's not really an argument, now, is it?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I won't see you until you stop seeing her.

Dr. Gregory House: Well, that's an argument.



Dr. James Wilson: Ah, yes, the age-old hooker massage conundrum. Cuddy might have mentioned something about it. Let's say you're right. Completely right about everything. Give in anyway.

Dr. Gregory House: This is not a point of pride. This is a point of principle.

Dr. James Wilson: Right, you're the Rosa Parks of hooker massages.

Dr. Gregory House: The principle is she's being irrational. If I give in on this, it sets the stage for the whole relationship.

Dr. James Wilson: Putting up with irrationality is the foundation for every relationship. I agree with Sam when she's calling her father a monster. I agree with her when she's calling him a saint. And in exchange, I get to have sex with her. And I'm sure she has similar tradeoffs with me. Relationships are hard. You have to make sacrifices. So sacrifice being crazy. Go get her a gift and apologize.

Dr. Gregory House: You finally made a good point.

Dr. James Wilson: Which, clearly, you have misunderstood based on how quickly you agreed.



Dr. Gregory House: Would you mind standing next to the screen?

Dr. Robert Chase: Yeah, she'd love to become a target for your ridicule.

Dr. Gregory House: She isn't already?



Dr. Gregory House: Snapilicious! But as I always like to say, it's better to be a helpful Helen than a negative Nelly. So while you're cooking up some ideas of your own, allow me to present theory 2.0 of why Chase hired you. Dr. Kelly, meet your doppelganger.



Dr. Gregory House: I know what you're thinking, Chase wants to sleep with his mom. But who wouldn't hit that if that looked like that? It's a classic case of what Freud called.



Dr. Gregory House: Well, you get major points for trying to trick me. Unfortunately, you lose 'em all for failing. Hold that. Hold that. See, now you're frowning. You can really see the resemblance.



Dr. Robert Chase: So that's what it is. You're angry that House gave me the chance to hire someone because you still think you're at a different level to everyone else. That's just pathetic.

Dr. Eric Foreman: I am at a different level.

Dr. Robert Chase: Which is reflected in what, exactly? Your title? No. Your salary? Not really. Your responsibilities? Hardly. Your attitude? Ah. I think we finally found it.

Dr. Eric Foreman: It doesn't change the fact that you made a bad decision because you want to get laid.

Dr. Robert Chase: Or the fact that you're courageously picking on Kelly because you're scared to take on House. Congratulations. You're a real leader.



Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm sure that some part of you believes this idiocy. But you can't possibly be stupid enough to think that you can convince any part of me. And that can only mean you're trying to sabotage this relationship.

Dr. Gregory House: Why would I do that? We're doing fine.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Because the next step from fine is serious, and you can't handle that, so you're trying to keep me at arm's length with all this crap.



Dr. Gregory House: You know what, I'm back to the Cameron theory. That you hired the dumb version of Cameron so that you could fire her and get revenge.

Dr. Eric Foreman: Give her a break.

Dr. Gregory House: Oh, you've switched sides? Let me guess, Chase represents the dumb version of Thirteen...

Dr. Eric Foreman: I realized if we all just keep pressuring Kelly, of course she's gonna get stuff wrong. It's irresponsible of me to let that happen.

Dr. Gregory House: You are a true leader of men. Get someone to cut into her head and get me a biopsy.



Billy: This is not who I married.

Dr. Gregory House: Of course she is. You just didn't know it.

Billy: I don't know if I can stay with her.

Dr. Gregory House: Sorry, as your marriage counselor, I'm not allowed to talk to you without your wife present.



Dr. Gregory House: Look, if you want me to give you a reason to leave her, fine. Apparently you haven't noticed, but she's got a serious mental illness.

Billy: It's too hard.

Dr. Gregory House: It's always hard.


Wednesday, October 06, 2010

House M. D. Quotes - Season 7 Episode 3 - Unwritten

Dr. Gregory House: For now. We're in the honeymoon period. Our brains are flooded with endorphins. Once she snaps out of it, where does that leave us?
Dr. James Wilson: House, you don't actually think she'd dump you because you, what, don't do yoga? Listen to the B-52s?
Dr. Gregory House: Not right away. We'll fight, makeup sex, fight, maybe sex, and then she'll dump me. With possible goodbye sex.
Dr. James Wilson: So, instead of enjoying the honeymoon phase, you've decided to skip it entirely.



Dr. Gregory House: No, then she'll start pretending to like things that she really doesn't just to make me feel better, which will make her feel even worse, which won't be my fault, so I'll resent her, and that won't be her fault, so she'll resent me. At least with my plan I get my one a day with iron till the bitter end.



Dr. Gregory House: This woman is on a 72-hour psychiatric hold. If she tries to run, shoot her. With a sedative, if that's more convenient.



Dr. Eric Foreman: So we're taking this case 'cause you're a fan?
Dr. Gregory House: No, that would be crazy and unprofessional. You're taking this case 'cause I said so.



Dr. Chris Taub: I have plans with my wife.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, nice try, but you hate your personal life. And you obviously don't have one.